Hallelujah, It is back to school day. I cannot even tell you (do I need to explain?) how good it feels to have a quiet uncluttered house. Living with 8 other people (actually 10 cos my folks currently live in our flat) is not for the faint of heart. As most of you know - I LIKE quiet. And wide open spaces. And did I mention QUIET?
These holidays were a great success but by Saturday I had just had enough - I unravelled completely and went off like a stark-raving banshee. It was extremely unpleasant; I tried to reason with myself but alas, I was powerless against the tide. The introvert came out like a demon demanding that everyone sod off and that everything needed to just STOP for a moment. I have to say that Kev is very good at creating space for me but even he came under wicked fire --- totally blamed him for my insane state. [that is a completely different post....remind me!] Our lives are SO BUSY. I hate even saying that word -BUSY. It is like a swear word to me. I have spent the last …
I still remember last year like it was yesterday. It was horrific.
This year I put so many "plans in place" to try and manage the horror.
I cannot spell it out for you. It would be a complete waste of time. All I can say is take a moment and get your head around kids trying to celebrate their mom for all she is while the other 3 kids mourn afresh the loss of their own mother.
No one knows how to act. No one knows what to say. I am stuck in the middle. We tried to navigate in all kinds of creative ways - bringing in extended family and a few more meaningless, grasping attempts.
I will never do Mothers day as a group event ever again. Nor will I attempt Fathers day. It's all a total broken mess.
Bizarrely I am comfortable in the broken mess. My discomfort and rage stems from when others try to 'fix the mess' as it causes them too much discomfort.
This mess is unfixable. And that is okay. I just need everyone to grow comfortable in…
Comments
Post a Comment